I had no idea....

This is the part where I share embarrassing stories!

At work a while back, a couple of 20-something boys came back from a night on the town (they always travel in packs). As they rounded the corner near the front desk I overheard one say, "Dude, check out the MILF at the desk." I went through every possible slang I could think of, because I knew I had heard it before, and couldn't remember what it meant. I finally resorted to googling MILF. And let me just say I am conflicted.

The thing is that I am old enough to be their mom (hence the term MILF) and I have step-children older than them. And as much as I'd like to say that's just weird, if the two guys that came into the hotel were Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, it would certainly put a different spin on things.

At least they didn't call me a cougar....

At least I didn't flush my keys....

Today I picked my oldest up for an appointment to have an oral surgeon put a bracket put on a tooth that was still in her gum. We stopped at the mall for lunch on the way to the office, and I realized on the way back out to the van that, for the third time in a month, I locked my keys in the van - which is a whole other story.

Fortunately my stepson was not too far away on a errand, and agreed to run by and get us - except he had his pickup not his car and could only take one of us at a time. When I called the office, they agreed to do the procedure even though we would be 40 minutes late.

Once the procedure started I made a stop in the bathroom, which I probably should have done hours before while I was still at work but I forgot (which every mother will relate to) and the key crisis didn't help. As I flushed, I realized that the water wan't flushing. One thing everyone who lives in Wisconsin knows is that most "flushable" products, ARE NOT FLUSHABLE! The person in the bathroom before me was obviously from Illinois or something, because that's exactly why the water rising to the top of the bowl.

So I am late to the appointment, have to make two trips to get us both there, and now I am flooding their bathroom. Way to make an impression I know.... Desparate, I did a quick sweep of the bathroom - soap dispenser, garbage can, toilet brush.... toilet brush! I am saved!

The rest of the afternoon was much less eventful....

A new conference record....

Tonight at parent-teacher conferences we had what was probably the shortest conference in the history of education - except maybe for the parents who don't show up at all, but that's a whole different post.

We did the 10 seconds of obligatory introductions, and sat down. I looked down at her report card and said, "Good grades, good comments - unless you've got something, I'm all set." He paused for a moment, kindof thoughtful, then stood, stretched out his hand, smiled and said, "Nope, that about covers it. Have a nice night then."

Leaves!

Poor Favre....

Is it any wonder Favre can't seem to figure out what he wants to do? It's from living with the weather in Wisconsin for so long. Last month the kids wore winter coats and mittens to homecoming and today my youngest played outside in a t-shirt. It's not Favre's fault - it's the environment....

Changing of the seasons

November 1st.

It's probably safe to assume that the rummage sale I was planning is not going to happen anytime soon - which is really sad because I had it all set up and just couldn't find a weekend when I was at home long enough to hold it.

I have to say it was really tempting to just leave the rummage sale set up over winter, so come spring I could fling open the garage door, and be ready to go. Fortunately for me, my family and friends all shopped when they stopped over, and there's not much left to worry about - which left plenty of room for... the snow gear!

Weekly Card 10/24

Look, juggling! (10/18-10/24)

Back in the nest

Well, the first flight into the adult world was a success. My oldest returned from her trip to D.C. with photos, souvenirs, stories, new friends from across the country, and so much to consider about what she wants to do with her future. That was the hardest thing I have done in a really long time – and probably the best.

Weekly Card 10/17

Pre-flight checklist (10/11-10/17)

Shopping anyone?

Every parent has done it. You’re shopping at the mall looking through sale racks with your preschooler by your side. You look down and she’s gone. The practical side of your brain is telling you that she’s probably hiding in the clothing racks. But there’s no convincing the protective parent part of your brain that goes into full panic mode, scanning the store for every possible abductor, calculating the number of possible exits against the amount of time since you last saw her.

I can’t shake that feeling. I’ll be happy when she is back home.

Sick Irony…

I left the airport after sending my daughter off into the great unknown, and stopped to pick up a paper on the way home, thinking the crossword puzzle would take my mind off it. The feature story was about plane that landed the plane in the Hudson river a while back. Are you kidding me?

Like the first day of school... kind of… not really…. Ok. Not at all.

Tomorrow morning I am putting my oldest daughter on a plane to D.C. alone to attend a conference for a week. I wrote all her important numbers on an index card to keep in her wallet. Would pinning it to her shirt be overkill?

Weekly Card 10/10

Ribbons (10/4-10/10)

At least I feed them

We have all seen that baby who couldn't keep going any longer and fell asleep face down in her food on the high chair tray. I give you the 14 year old version.

I went up to her room to make sure she had enough to eat and say good night, and found her sleeping with her dinner plate on the bed next to her (and yes, that's a steak knife inches from her head).

Weekly Card 9/20

Connections (9/20-9/26)